Reflections on my 35th College Reunion

This weekend was my 35th college reunion. Reunions tend to throw me out of my natural rhythm. All these people from my past, the stirring of old memories, event after event where there is a LOT of socializing. Did I mention that I am an introvert and easily overstimulated?

A part of my brain is busy assimilating these new/old faces, wondering about the lives they lead, wanting to know more about their present stories, remembering (or trying to remember) interactions from long ago. I suppose it’s in my nature (as a writer) to constantly be imagining the different paths my life could have taken.

After all, when I went to Davidson, I was young and unformed, like most high school graduates. I was both bold and fearful, ready to take on the world and, at the same time, hide myself from it. I didn’t take full advantage of my Davidson education. I spent more time exploring my social life, trying to find a place where I fit in, than looking outward.

Thirty-five year later, something has changed. Some of my fears have morphed into a new awareness. The decades of living and loss have left their mark on both me and my classmates. I find myself smiling into the open faces of friends and those who I didn’t know so well, hearing words that touch my heart and remind me that we are all on this journey together.

One fellow alumni made the pronouncement that here at our class reunions, he has found “his people.” He lives a few states away and has a wonderful home and community, yet he spoke what I presume many of us were feeling.

We are no longer the disparate group of students who came together back in the fall of 1978. But over the four years we were together, and the ensuing three decades and a half, we somehow became a cohesive group, a group that shares a history and a perspective, a group that folded in a mix of personalities and experienced an evolution together. An evolution of both the outer world – our political and socio-economic culture – and our own inner worlds as together we have weathered the ups and downs of a career life, families, broken relationships, aging parents, health issues and joys and heartaches of all sizes. We are no longer the wide-eyed, insecure innocents we once were.

The experience of sharing not just four years together, but a succession of life lessons, has uncovered a sense of appreciation. Not just for what was…but for what is. Who we were and who we have become. The threads of commonality have pulled us together, created a net of friendship and community, a sweet spot where each of us can land as we reunite.

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