Happy 100th Birthday to My Mom, 11 Things She Might Have Said To Me

This week will be my mom’s 100th birthday! She was born on June 26^th, 1919. She passed away in 2007 at the age of 88, after living with Alzheimer’s for 14 years. As her 100^th birthday approaches, I’ve been wondering about the best way to celebrate her life.

What came to me was to spend time with her memory and imagine what she would say to me. Growing up, Mom was always a great listener, and as I got older, I appreciated her wisdom. I’ve missed our talks. I could tell her anything, ask her anything, and there was never any judgment, just appreciation for who I was and the opportunity for us to explore together.

If I had the chance to visit with her again, these are a few things she might want to remind me:

1. Be accepting and compassionate. Not everyone has had the opportunities and gifts that you have had. Treat others gently. A kind word goes a long way.

2. There is no handbook for aging. Look for role models, but don’t judge yourself against them. Spend more time with precious memories than regrets. Treat every challenge as an opportunity for growth.

3. Keep learning. Mom believed in education. She loved taking classes and learning new things. When she was in her 50s, she took a writing class that led to a second career in journalism. She took a photography class in her 60s. She believed we never stop learning.

4. Find a circle of support. If you’re losing a parent to Alzheimer’s, suffering through some kind of grief, having a hard time moving forward or just enjoying life, it’s a blessing to share the difficult times and the good times with those who care about you.

5. Talk about the hard things. Mom believed that honest conversations could change the world. As a newspaper feature writer, she focused on topics that weren’t often talked about, such as menopause and aging, retirement issues and the empty-nest syndrome. She wanted everyone to have access to information that could help them.

6. Lead in your own way. Some leaders are loud, and some are quiet. Some are action-oriented, others are still. No one way is the right way. To make a difference in the world, be yourself and connect with what matters to you. Your passion will awaken yourself and others.

7. Read good books. When I was growing up, if I was struggling with something, Mom would point me to great literature, books that would open my mind and give me perspective. I was always grateful for the nudge and the inspiration. I think she’d be overjoyed that I’m now a manager of AlzAuthors.

8. Be in the here and now. Mom used to say, “Don’t wish away your life.” Rather than spending time in the past or the future, we should lift our eyes to the present. Each moment has gifts waiting to be opened, if we are present and engaged.

9. It’s okay to cry. I used to hide my tears from my mom when I was young. But she always knew when I was sad or when I needed to uncork the emotions roiling inside me. She cried easily, and some of my sweetest memories are of being in her arms and allowing my tears to flow.

10. Let nature soothe you. My mother’s favorite place in the world was Lake George, NY (see this post), her childhood summer home where she roamed the hills and swam in the clear water. She understood on a deep level how nature settled the questions inside her.

11. Share your experiences. Mom used to say, “Your writing is beautiful, just beautiful,” — not because it was perfect, but because she believed in the power of putting words on paper and sharing from the heart. When we express our truths, we take part in a sacred birthing of ourselves, and joy springs from that creation.

Happy 100th birthday, Mom! I miss you and look forward to seeing you again one day. I am so grateful to have been your daughter. Thank you for being such a beautiful role model. I love you!

Me with my daughter and mom in 2001